Ikimasho!

SMUT at the Front Page, Belfast, Northern Ireland.

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SMUT review, 2001.

The best times from your youth are the ones you can barely remember.


“By the middle of the set, the crowd were telling them to leave the stage…that’s how good Smut were… I wasn’t impressed and I don’t know anyone who was…”

Back in 2001 I formed a punk band with two of my best mates, Bibs and Monters. We called ourselves SMUT. In the entirety of our existence we had two practices, played two gigs and recorded one song. The project was a total farce, yet we still laugh about it today.

Bibs, Monters and I had been playing music together since we were about 15 – with Bibs and I even recording some pop-punk stuff in a studio at that age using a drum machine. (Listen to that demo here.) For SMUT, however, we decided to go for a harder punk sound and basically not give a shit – no doubt fuelled by the copious amounts of Buckfast, MD 20/20 and White Lightning we were drinking at the time. We recruited a local stoner from Comber called Matt Stran on drums and we were all set for our first gig. (Matt will always be remembered for the time a girl was eyeing him up in the bar, but not understanding the concept of flirting, he went over to her and said “what the f*ck are you looking at.”)

Our first gig was upstairs in Wolseys Bar in my hometown of Bangor. I can’t remember too much about it, but Baron (the bassist of Belfast band The Dangerfields) saw us play, thought we were amazing and invited us to play in the bright lights of Belfast (ie. a shit gig in the Front Page). We were excited about playing our second gig, probably a little too excited. We started drinking in the afternoon, gave Bibs a haircut on the train up to Belfast and arrived at the venue hammered. We got so drunk we could barely stand up, let alone hold our instruments, and Monters didn’t even bring a bass. He had to borrow one and play it upside down cos he’s left-handed. At one point Monters got cracked round the head with the neck of a guitar and the gig ended with us rolling about the floor in our own filth. SMUT never played another show.

April 4th of this year will be the 15th anniversary of that infamous (in our eyes) SMUT gig. Bibs, Monters and I are still best mates. Amazingly, a few photos of the show have recently surfaced, along with a review which was written at the time (above). We may have sucked, but hey, at least we were “marginally better than Yield.”


 

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Gig poster. I worked in Electric World at the time so stole a poster and knocked this up in a bout five minutes. Possibly the worst gig poster you will ever see.

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SMUT: Monters, Bibs, Jar (me)

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Monters collapsed in a heap after getting smashed with a guitar

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Matt “what the f*ck you looking at” Stran on drums. Screeching Weasel sticker on Baron’s bass amp.

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Our mate Halliday before the show setting the tone.

The only song we ever recorded:

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